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Thread: Dad's Dementia is getting worse.

  1. #1
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    Default Dad's Dementia is getting worse.

    Although I don't think I've mentioned this on the forums he has been dealing with this for several years now. But lately he has gotten lost in town twice now. Once, back on Easter's eve he got lost and some ex-cons from Great Falls brought him home and stole his Browning Sweet Sixteen shotgun out of his house while others in the group distracted him. It was really the only thing of any value he has at the house and the scumbag took it. When my family arrived the next morning at my dad's one of the guys was coming out of his house and told me he brought my father's shotgun back. I don't think he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart but rather trying to gain my father's confidence possibly to get something out of him in the future. I got really angry with the guy and ran him off. I called the Chester police the next morning and reported to them what happened.

    The Chester Police brought him home just before Thanksgiving the next time he got lost in town. My sister and I are trying to prevent him from driving and looking into some sort of assisted care. I'm sure there are others on this forum going through similar situations. It's very tough do deal with.
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  2. #2
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    I'm going through something very, very similar. I know how you feel, parallax.

  3. #3
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    Same here, my mother has gotten worse also she will repeat the same thing maybe 10 times and doesn't remember what she just said. Don't know what I am going to do.

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    My sister and I took my dad to visit Westminster Towers retirement community in Rock Hill Monday for a tour and to visit my "second parents" who have been living there for 7 months in the independent section. They love it there. I don't think my dad would do well in the independent section for long although he can still bathe and dress himself. We have no idea if he even takes his medications that he should at 90 years of age. He seemed to like the place but getting him to move there will be an entirely new and difficult challenge. I'm mostly worried about him falling since he lives by himself and no one would know he has fallen. If he falls outside with the weather being cold at night he'd likely lie there until he dies of exposure. It's a very helpless feeling we get knowing it is inevitable that he will either fall, get lost or get in a car crash. The stress is very hard to handle.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  5. #5
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    Prayers sent from Seneca

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    Quote Originally Posted by parallax View Post
    My sister and I took my dad to visit Westminster Towers retirement community in Rock Hill Monday for a tour and to visit my "second parents" who have been living there for 7 months in the independent section. They love it there. I don't think my dad would do well in the independent section for long although he can still bathe and dress himself. We have no idea if he even takes his medications that he should at 90 years of age. He seemed to like the place but getting him to move there will be an entirely new and difficult challenge. I'm mostly worried about him falling since he lives by himself and no one would know he has fallen. If he falls outside with the weather being cold at night he'd likely lie there until he dies of exposure. It's a very helpless feeling we get knowing it is inevitable that he will either fall, get lost or get in a car crash. The stress is very hard to handle.
    Been there and it is very difficult to deal with. Bill take those car keys ASAP while he still understands why you are doing it. That is their last area of independence so he will resist. Afterwards he will be totally dependent on you and you sister so keep that in mind. We had another lady live in with mom before she need full professional care. On the progression of dementia it will become more than a single person can handle 24/7 so you will need a team of caregivers. It is heartbreaking to watch the progression of a love one.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  7. #7
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    This is a hard thing to see Bill,watched Dementia ravage over my great grandpa,its a cruel monster.Praying for your family!
    "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage:be not afraid,neither be thou dismayed:for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9

  8. #8
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    Dementia they call it the slow death..watched my mother in law go thru it for 5 years and it broke my wife's heart. She passed away now and in a better place.

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    It will hear you three times, see you twice, but it will only smell you once.

  9. #9
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    Dad threatened suicide last Monday. Tore my heart out. Can't sleep, difficult to work through it.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  10. #10
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    Very, very sorry for your pain.

  11. #11
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    real sorry to hear that Bill. it is a terrible disease.

  12. #12
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    I continue to send prayers from Seneca for you and your family.

  13. #13
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    Praying for you Bill . Worse thing I have ever been thru in my life with my dad, I know your pain.

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    prayers sent Bill ---- I fear this disease for myself lots more than I fear death**

  15. #15
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    Bill I feel your pain and my story is not in any way trying to steal your thunder. Believe me. I'm originally from Vermont. My dad died thirteen years ago. By law, everything was left to my mom. Mom and dad had seven kids (me included). One in Montana, two in Maine, one in Maryland, me in South Carolina and the final two in Vermont. We're all scattered. My mom died this past July at age 95. She had dementia. Shortly after she died, we (six siblings) found that mom had changed dad's will to favor the one sibling living next door to her. The will was changed shortly after my dad had passed perhaps ten years ago. Dad's will had everything spit equally seven ways. Her new will stipulated that my youngest brother & wife was willed 540K in money and property while the remaining six siblings would inherit approx. 25K each. Question: was she in her right mind when she made this change ? Just when did dementia set in which this decision was made by her. The will is signed by her, notarized, stamped, recorded etc. Inquiries from lawyers state that the six don't stand a chance of regaining our inheritance because we can't establish her frame of mind when she signed her will. Strange things happen when money and property is involved. Apparently greed, money changes people including kin. Not to steal anybody's thunder, especially Bill but please be aware that these things happened.

  16. #16
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    Bill you need to start getting a game plan together with your family as far as how to take care of your father. It is not easy, but it is easier to do in advance than at the last minute. Eventually you will need assistance and professional care either in your home or in an alzheimers unit
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  17. #17
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    We have been for some time now. Even got him to tour a nice retirement community that has facilities for advancing Alzhimers. He liked it but he is resistant to anything. It's part of the disease and his stubborn independent nature.

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    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  18. #18
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    Good for you guys. I have already fought that battle and it was one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do. He will likely resist going there to stay.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  19. #19
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    Dad is still living at home. We took his keys to his cars and lawn mower a couple of months ago and he occasionally remembers someone made him stop driving then complains about it. Monday I took him for a ride down around Lake Wateree just to get him out and about. On the way back he was telling me about his kids, (me and my older sister) and how they were so good to take care of him when they could. Then he asked me if I knew their mother. I reminded him that she was my mother and he caught his error this time. But the deterioration continues. Most all of his stories he tells us now are mostly a mix of mostly dreams or fantasies laced with a few true memories.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Monk View Post
    prayers sent Bill ---- I fear this disease for myself lots more than I fear death**
    Amen to that.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  20. #20
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    My prayers to you and your family.

  21. #21
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    Bill --- At least you have somewhat of a handle on it now and he's not driving -- very sad way, for him to spend his remaining years***__ Prayers sent to you & yours **

  22. #22
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    Saturday he pretty much disowned me. He demanded his car keys back, when I said I couldn't do that he told me to leave his property, never come back and that I wasn't even his son. Of course I didn't leave. He said he'd call the police and have me arrested for stealing his car keys to which I replied, "I'll call them for you pop!". He got quiet after that. I'm giving us both the day off today.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  23. #23
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    i'm sorry you're going through this but it sounds like you are dealing with the issues in a patient way. my thoughts are with you and your dad.

  24. #24
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    There will be tough times ahead. At least he still know who you are. With Mother sometimes I was me, but many times I was one of her brothers. My sister from out of town she didn't even know. Sadly they usually stop the kind of stuff you are going through but are then farther lost. My heart goes out to you and the family.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  25. #25
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    Thanks fellas, I really appreciate the support.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  26. #26
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    Yesterday, I had to go to his house and take is ammunition for his guns after the past two Sunday visits where he has threatened my sister's and my life, plus his own. We are arranging to get him into an assisted care facility near my home in the next two weeks.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  27. #27
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    Today my sister and I are completing the paperwork and all to move my dad into an assisted care facility only 5 miles from my home and close to my work. He doesn't know he's going to be staying there and wouldn't allow it if he did. But this is for his best interest and better for my and my sister's state of mind. We will be moving him in in a couple of weeks.
    Thanks to all for the prayers and thoughtful comments.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  28. #28
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    Your making the right decision for all involved.

  29. #29
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    That is a very very difficult decision to make Bill. You did the right thing. God be with you.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

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