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Thread: Dad's Dementia is getting worse.

  1. #31
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    Praying for yall Bill!
    "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage:be not afraid,neither be thou dismayed:for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9

  2. #32
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    An update on my father.

    He is adapting to his new life and surroundings but upon moving in he had to be immediately moved into the memory unit since he tried to leave the first night. Since then he only seems down or unhappy with the place whenever my sister and I are there to visit him. I guess we remind him of his life at home. He is being treated well and is the life of the place with the female residents, but I can see his memory failing at an accelerated pace. Yesterday when I mentioned my son, John, he seemed to not know who I was talking about for a few minutes, then he seemed to recall him again. It's sad but I feel much better knowing he is eating well and taking his meds. He did fall a few weeks ago and hit is head on his dresser but a visit to the emergency room at the hospital for a ct scan and examination showed nothing more than a broken nose and a couple of bad scrapes on his head. I hate to think of what would happen to him if he had done this at home. He's always been a tough guy, toughest I know when it comes to dealing with pain.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  3. #33
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    continued prayers from Seneca.

  4. #34
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    Bill I have been through that myself. A terrible disease. After a while they will forget about home life to some extent and feel more comfortable at the care facility.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  5. #35
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    Update on my father's dementia.

    It is becoming even more difficult to carry on any kind of conversation with him now due to the fact that he is incapable of remembering things that were significant enough for him to remember before. So he has little to nothing to talk about no matter how clever I try to be to bring some memories back for him. He is having trouble remembering my wife's name and never mentions his grandchildren without me bringing their names up. His health is good otherwise for a 91 year old man with dementia and AFIB.

    Good news is that the VA is going to pay some of his assisted care fees. He is a WWII Merchant Marine and Army veteran.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

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  6. #36
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    Hold steady it's hard, but God does not put you through more than you can handle
    He's got you, remember the" Footprints in the sand"
    Always pray gods will be done !

  7. #37
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    Continued prayers from Seneca

  8. #38
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    Unhappy

    We went to the monthly "family night" dinner last night. Here's my dad.

    Sorry, tried several times to uplaod the pic but it always comes up sideways.
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    Last edited by parallax; 05-18-2018 at 06:28 AM.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by vermontlad View Post
    Bill I feel your pain and my story is not in any way trying to steal your thunder. Believe me. I'm originally from Vermont. My dad died thirteen years ago. By law, everything was left to my mom. Mom and dad had seven kids (me included). One in Montana, two in Maine, one in Maryland, me in South Carolina and the final two in Vermont. We're all scattered. My mom died this past July at age 95. She had dementia. Shortly after she died, we (six siblings) found that mom had changed dad's will to favor the one sibling living next door to her. The will was changed shortly after my dad had passed perhaps ten years ago. Dad's will had everything spit equally seven ways. Her new will stipulated that my youngest brother & wife was willed 540K in money and property while the remaining six siblings would inherit approx. 25K each. Question: was she in her right mind when she made this change ? Just when did dementia set in which this decision was made by her. The will is signed by her, notarized, stamped, recorded etc. Inquiries from lawyers state that the six don't stand a chance of regaining our inheritance because we can't establish her frame of mind when she signed her will. Strange things happen when money and property is involved. Apparently greed, money changes people including kin. Not to steal anybody's thunder, especially Bill but please be aware that these things happened.
    I would hope that if this ever happened to me, and I was the one chosen to inherit the 540K, that I would distribute it amongst my siblings simply because its the right thing to do.
    If you think healthcare is expensive now, just wait until you see how expensive it is when it's free.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Banjo Bud View Post
    I would hope that if this ever happened to me, and I was the one chosen to inherit the 540K, that I would distribute it amongst my siblings simply because its the right thing to do.
    I have a cousin who cared for his bi-polar mom for decades, since he lived in her home town. During one of her episodes, she wrote him out of the will and told him so. He continued to care for her regardless. When she finally passed away, his little brother came to town and during the reading of the will, signed over the house and $$$ to his big brother, who had cared for his insane mother so well for so many years (and only got heartbreak after heartbreak for his troubles). It was a bit of a happy ending to a sad story. My respect for that younger cousin of mine is enormous.

  11. #41
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    Yep happened to me too. When my wonderful sisters needed someone to do the dirty work and force hard decisions guess who they called. Then connived to get me cut out. When dealing with someone even in early stages they can be easily swayed. If they can live with it I can live without it. I no longer associate with them.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  12. #42
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    It’s not the money, it’s the hurt.
    If you think healthcare is expensive now, just wait until you see how expensive it is when it's free.

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Banjo Bud View Post
    It’s not the money, it’s the hurt.
    That is what I told them. It destroyed the family. So be it.
    Last edited by Iceman; 05-18-2018 at 07:18 PM.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  14. #44
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    Dad blacked out Wednesday and was rushed to the hospital. His heart is very poor now with a heart rate most of the time under 40 beats per minute and he is in constant afib. He is going to be moved into hospice care as soon as he is strong enough to be released from the hospital. His sense of humor is still good but he doesn't want to eat and his memory only last for a few minutes. Talks of mom a lot. Wants to know where she is, but he thinks she's coming home anytime now.

    Maybe she is, to him. Lord, I'd love for them to be together again in heaven.

    The first picture is my sister and myself with my dad last Christmas. The second is from a "Prom" the assisted care place had earlier this summer. The third is when his last surviving little brother Jim visited a few weeks ago and the last is from last Sunday before lunch.
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    Last edited by parallax; 09-07-2018 at 03:51 AM.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  15. #45
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    Hard times for you and the family God bless.
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

  16. #46
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    God Bless and keep you strong Sir.

  17. #47
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    Prayers sent to you & yours*** Praying for your Dad to have a peaceful journey HOME**______Monk

  18. #48

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    My wife's grandmother just passed. She had dementia as well. I know how incredibly difficult it is. What a relief though to know she's reunited with her husband now. Praying for y'all!

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  19. #49
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    Update on dad.
    He spent a month in a hospital in Concord undergoing psychological evaluations after the facility he was living in kicked him out for "behavioral problems". Turns out they had given up on his maintenance meds that were controlling his issues so it was their own fault. His care had gone south over his year there due to constant staff and administration change overs until my sister and I didn't even know any of the folks that were allegedly taking care of him. Last week my sister moved him into a much smaller place that seems to have had little employee turnover since their founding. I hope and pray they will take better care of him in his ever weakening state. He is no longer walking without assistance and his organs are starting to fail. His time with us is limited and he is under hospice care.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  20. #50
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    Continued prayers sent from Seneca. I had to move my father to a memory care home in June. I have a brother and 2 sisters in Pittsburgh so we placed him there. As of right now he only recognizes my 2 sisters and not my brother. All visit him a couple tomes a week. I also have a sister in Detroit and a brother in Virginia and when they stopped in to visit he had no idea who they where. He lived with my wife and I for 4 years and we are going to visit in December but have no expectations that the will recognize who we are. If he does it will be because I was the one who placed him in the home. I know you have been dealing with this for a longer time than I have bht in he short time I have I know how tough it is on the family.

  21. #51
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    Prayers for you and your's from Monroe.
    It is tough, tougher than I ever thought and I was well informed about it from a couple of good friends where I work that had gone through it. It's hard to look at the slow deterioration of my father who I had looked up to my whole life, even when I was a young man and thought I knew it all. How little I actually knew compared to his many years of wisdom.
    Formerly Bill SC Hunter from the SCDNR Forums

    Got military surplus weapons you want to get rid of? Lemme know!

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  22. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by parallax View Post
    Prayers for you and your's from Monroe.
    It is tough, tougher than I ever thought and I was well informed about it from a couple of good friends where I work that had gone through it. It's hard to look at the slow deterioration of my father who I had looked up to my whole life, even when I was a young man and thought I knew it all. How little I actually knew compared to his many years of wisdom.
    After watching the regression associated with the disease I told my wife to never let me get to that point in that condition. I know there is nothing she could do but I certainly do not wish to be in that condition. Like watching a strong tree wither and die. God bless you two and your families
    "Any man who thinks he can be happy and Prosperous by letting the US Government Officials take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian."
    Henry Ford

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